"Besides, Indian women in San Francisco are kind of high maintenance."
"Now, you're stereotyping a little, aren't you? By the way, you're sitting across the table from an Indian woman in San Francisco."
He smiled. Then I continued. "Although I do kind of agree with you. However, I also believe I don't fit into that category."
"You're right--you're not high maintenance, but most Indian women here are." He either truly believed this, or was trying to appease me....
"I think Indian men in this city want to be with women who are high maintenance, because it makes them feel loved, and needed and depended on. I'm too independent to care about that stuff."
I was highly amused by two things in this conversation: first that the two of us, being Indian man and woman, could sit across the table and fire stereotypes at each other in casual conversation; secondly, that in this era of feminism and political correctness, two smart, educated people were still comparing women to luxury cars. (All in jest and fun, though...)
So tonight, I got onto Wikipedia and typed in "high-maintenance." I was redirected to Wiktionary, and the following definition:
- Describes a system which requires a high degree of maintenance to ensure proper functioning and without which it is likely to break down.
- (figuratively, of a person) Who requires a lot of attention.
- He has this incredibly high-maintenance girlfriend; if he doesn't tell her that he loves her every five minutes, she tends to break down into hysterical depressive weepy fits.
I find it just as amusing that Wiktionary decided to use "high-maintenance girlfriend" as an example.
Next I went to Google and started typing in "high mainte--" and there was "high maintenance definition" and a lot that related to "high maintenance woman..." Interesting. So, are men never high maintenance? Who defines this?
After looking around at several blog entries and articles, I decided I liked this one the best: High Maintenance/Lo Maintenance. He cleverly divides the category up into physical/emotional/financial. And also admits that many men dig these women. These are the women who always have makeup on, their hair is perfect, their nailpolish is never chipped, and they always care about what others are thinking of them. They seek attention and compliments, and often judge others on material and superficial attributes. Although it may seem like I'm being judgmental, I'm not--I'm just fascinated because I've never been one of these women. Nor do I think it's entirely fair to say that someone is "some way" all the time. But as long as we're talking about stereotypes, I would be very interested in knowing what the men--and women--think about dating with regards to "maintenance" types.
My theory is that most men say they want "low maintenance" but, on the other hand, are looking for that hottie in the mini-skirt with perfectly manicured nails and stiletto heels...Not sure you can have it both ways!
3 comments:
To dovetail off your last few comments, I might like to add that while many want a low-maintenance in some ways (i.e. a girl you don't have to do a lot of things for to keep her happy), they may be more likely to settle for a 'high-maintenance' model if it affords them other luxuries...such as looking good, feeling good about themselves as a 'man', and not feeling intimidated by a rivaling non-girlie assets.
It just seems that in practice, those who are more high maintenance in some respects are worth it for what they not only bring to the table, but what they keep off the table. After all, it's a lot easier to tell a girl she's pretty and remember to give her gifts at the right times than, oh, say be challenged on your maturity, intelligence, and communication skills.
Luckily cars can't talk. :)
Soni, I completely agree with you. The dilemma that the feminist revolution brought to the table is affording women as much access to education and other such luxuries as men (despite still being paid less for the job...). Unfortunately, it didn't do much for men, and there are definitely men out there who feel emasculated by intelligent women. To be fair though, there are also many many men who seek equal partners--and although "high maintenance" women peek their curiosity, they ultimately gravitate towards their intellectual equals. In my opinion, these are the stronger men (like Obama for example--he married one damn smart woman!)
Hmmm...and I think these days cars are getting closer to talking? ;-)
broadly speaking - women are as high maintenance as their looks let them get away with.
this of course, is a broad trend and exceptions abound....
The male equivalent is, the higher the dude's Socio-Econ Status, the more player / jerk behavior women tend to let him get away with...
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