The death of the phone call

Somehow, in the past couple of years in San Francisco (can't speak for elsewhere), men who are attempting to court women have stopped calling them.
I remember back when (and this probably dates me) I used to get love letters in high school and college, laced with a little cologne (yes, cheesy) and filled with flowery words with the undertone of passion.  Those days, I realize, are long gone and possibly replaced by a quick email with no subject line, a greeting that says Hey,(and not even my name) and a couple of lines probably jotted down while multitasking at work on the phone and gmail chat.  But that lamenting, alas, may be for another post.

What I've been noticing recently (both in my own life and those of friends who complain about their dating life) is that the phone call seems to have died as a mode of communication.  Now if you're meeting someone online, I'm all for just meeting before chatting on the phone.  But alas, after that, it used to be that men called to ask for a second date.  Or, if you meet someone out and about, that they would get your number and call you.  However, I have noticed a culture shift recently--a flurry of text messages and emails to communicate interest, and to plan future dates.  This may be a Bay area thing, as I still know some people in the Midwest and South who don't even have a text message plan, but it may be a trend that will soon envelop the country as technology often spreads from Silicon Valley.

Now to be fair, I am not laying the blame on men. I myself tend to text and email friends more than calling to set up plans.  I feel it is easier to not interrupt them, and I myself now have a 24 hour turn-around time for listening to voice messages that people leave me (with some exceptions).  But it is interesting to observe that in these times when we are always on the run, multitasking all the time, that connecting in real-time over the phone with someone we like is as likely as expecting him to show up at my front door with a horse carriage and buggy. 

One of my friends had a recent dating experience where she went on half a dozen dates with this man (who worked in technology--welcome to the bay area) and they only had one phone conversation during their courtship (and that was him breaking up with her).  She deduced that if a man doesn't call, he's not interested (or in her case, interested in breaking up).  I'm curious as to what the men out there think.  I think that if a man does call, he's definitely interested.  If he doesn't call, he may be interested, busy or ambivalent.  It's hard to tell.  But one thing is certain--an email deserves an email back, a text a text and a phone call another in response.  So if you're dying for him to call you, just call him first.

Another one of my friends who lives in Chicago tells me that men call for second dates there.  If she doesn't like them, she doesn't answer their phone calls, but then texts them back to tell them she is not interested.  Cruel or practical?  You decide.

So, advice for the men out there--women love it when you call.  Advice for the women--I think the phone call is close to becoming extinct.  Good luck!