Online dating. It's the thing to do. And for some reason, my friends have recently been requesting "templates" from me. Apparently, I'm supposed to be the expert on this. I'm not sure if I should be flattered. So, here's my "template" for an online dating email (yes, I believe it is OK for the woman to initiate contact with the man). If you don't believe in such gender equity, my template may not be for you. The template is also gender neutral, as I don't believe in traditional roles. Remember, this is just a basic template, but you must modify to bring out your own personality flares/humor.
My "template" is based on a few basic assumptions:
1. I already find the person's profile who I am writing to interesting enough that I would likely be willing to meet them.
2. Be nice. Meaning, treat others, and write to others how you would like to be written to.
3. Make it personal. This is about dating. So, draw on their personality traits that you like, the activities you both enjoy, something specific they wrote.
4. Less is more.
So, a typical email goes like this:
Insert interesting subject line based upon something specific in their profile
Hey,
I really enjoyed reading your profile (show them you are interested). You seem [insert 3 adjectives based upon an in-depth reading of their profile, for example--laid back, genuine, sincere, fun-loving, adventurous, yada yada]. (show them you are good at reading their words).
You'll find we have several things in common [list a few] (again, specifics and commonalities). I actually hiked Mount Tam last week/ "The Alchemist" is also my favorite book too/ What's your favorite restaurant in SF? (getting more specific, engaging them with specifics and questions).
[Insert a couple of lines about yourself.] (No long bios please--they can read your profile.) I hope you check out my profile (invite them to check out your profile).
Hope to hear back from you! (end with something positive). Good luck in your search (more positive).
Sign (your name, your nickname, your initials, whatever you feel comfortable divulging to a complete stranger who has a 20% chance of even writing you back).
You get the point. Any questions? Comments? My perspective is that of a woman writing a man, but to be honest, I think it works well both ways. If I got an email like the one above, I would likely respond. Men, do NOT, (I repeat, DO NOT) compliment a woman on her curves/bustiness/body/ etc. in your initial email if you desire a response. We know that's what all men are ultimately looking for, but we'd like you to pretend at least for a little while...
Also, no chain emails. They are obvious, and they go directly to the trash can, even if you think they are not, or even if you personalize the first two lines out of the 100 (the other 98 being irrelevant information about yourself that I don't need to know initially).
Alright, good luck!
RIP - Davy Jones
2 days ago
2 comments:
I approve...though with the caveat that this ALSO assumes that YOUR profile tells more info about yourself, and not one of the ones that just says "I'm single and looking to meet X, write me if you wanna know more."
Sometimes when I get complaints about NOT repeating my life story in my e-mail, I gently point out that my profile tells much more and that they're welcome to ask me to expound on whatever aspect of that catches their eye.
I don't think there is necessarily a better way, but I kind of feel that it's easier to give an overall sense of who you are upfront, and then e-mail is for digging in the areas of interest. I personally find it boring going back and forth online with "What do you like to do for fun?" -- just encourage generic and canned answers, and discourages people from bothering trying to get to know each other.
My 0.02, Soni
This is a great template, and great tips. I don't know why so many people forget all the manners that they would use in conversation when they are writing an email, but it happens all the time. I think that you should feel flattered that so many people value your opinion enough to ask for your input no matter what the topic.
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